Since the beginning of time, human beings have established relationships for different socioeconomic reasons. At the core of our human existence, however, we have a deep need to experience a sense of oneness with another person.
Society tells us that we should want certain things, like a perfect relationship, otherwise we are incomplete. So we set ourselves on a mission to find "the one" and develop certain expectations about what we want and how we want it. But, is this a realistic approach to relationships?
If the secret to happy relationships is to give, why is it so difficult?
Because of our needs and expectations, we rarely go into a relationship, romantic or otherwise, with the intention to give. Instead, we expect to receive, to get something out of it. The problem is that when only one person in the relationship gives, it becomes exploitation. When neither person gives, it becomes a transaction, a relationship of convenience and demands.
Accepting others as they are.
Even though our self-esteem and sense of worth are crucial for a healthy relationship, we can't have successful and fulfilling relationships if we are not prepared to accept the other person as they are. The only way to accept others as they are is by finding fulfillment and balance within ourselves. In this way, we are in harmony, regardless of what the other person is doing. This is what a relationship is all about and it can be extremely fulfilling if the basic components are present.
It is you who has to be compatible with yourself in order to be fulfilled in any relationship.
How can we stay together when the highly-charged chemistry changes over time?
Jaggi Vasudev, commonly known as Sadhguru, an Indian yogi and mystic, founder of the Isha Foundation, believes that the secret to healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationships is establishing conscious relationships, instead of compulsory relationships.
In a conscious relationship, a couple comes together based on things they have in common. The future of healthy romantic relationships is based on mindful, conscious, loving relationships that go beyond chemistry and initial attraction. "At the beginning, a romantic relationship is ignited by very basic human aspects like visual attraction, but love has nothing to do with it necessarily," says Sadhguru.
A healthy and conscious relationship involves knowing the other person's mind and soul without demands and expectations. It is accommodating the other person without losing yourself. It requires that we do not hold the other person responsible for the way we feel.
There is nothing more freeing and fulfilling than being loved for who you really are.
-Sadhguru, various sources.
-Hicks, E., various sources.